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#1 2013-10-27 03:45:54

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

I was recently looking through some old magazines before I threw them out (cleaning up, getting ready for winter) when I found a rather funny list of phrases labled "Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue:"

1) "We're out of charcoal - light up a tire"

2) "That ain't lemonade"

3) "If the smoke from the grill bothers you, just crack open a window"

4)  "Why is my hotdog wearing nail polish?"

5) "Does anyone here know the heimlich maneuver?"

6) "Who wants to lick the grill?"

7) "Hello, 911? It's me again . . . "

Anyone have any of their own they'd like to share?  smile


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#2 2013-10-27 03:48:58

machinebacon
#! unstable
From: China
Registered: 2009-07-02
Posts: 6,826
Website

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

- "Hmmm, the grilled fish smells delicious"
- "That's not fish, that's chicken..."
8)


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#3 2013-10-27 03:59:30

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

machinebacon wrote:

- "Hmmm, the grilled fish smells delicious"
- "That's not fish, that's chicken..."
8)

I actually witnessed something like that before. It was one of those kind of potluck camping trips where everyone merges their assorted foodstuffs into one big community table, & someone brought these burgers that looked like a whitish-green hue & just smelled rancid. Turns out, they were perfectly fine! One of the guys's kids was a vegitarian, so they brought soy burgers  lol


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#4 2013-10-27 04:11:17

machinebacon
#! unstable
From: China
Registered: 2009-07-02
Posts: 6,826
Website

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

IMO one of the things I don't want to hear at a Barbie: "Anyone want some soy burgers?" big_smile


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#5 2013-10-27 04:20:57

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

On top of that, all the hotdogs wer burnt to a crisp! Thank God I brought a few bags of chips & someone else had the foresight to order a pizza  smile


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#6 2013-10-27 04:31:56

machinebacon
#! unstable
From: China
Registered: 2009-07-02
Posts: 6,826
Website

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Famous last words at the grill:

"No thanks, I just had a bunch of these really delicious hand-picked mushrooms."


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#7 2013-10-27 04:36:40

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Either that or they're about to start some serious tripping  tongue


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#8 2013-10-27 07:31:34

net_waps
Member
From: Ventura
Registered: 2013-10-26
Posts: 15

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

machinebacon wrote:

IMO one of the things I don't want to hear at a Barbie: "Anyone want some soy burgers?" big_smile

"Are the Tofu steaks done yet?"


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#9 2013-10-27 11:43:19

snowpine
#!-a-roo
Registered: 2008-11-24
Posts: 2,984

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Last thing anyone wants to hear at a BBQ: "You hang out on #! forums too? No way!! My name's Snowpine."


/hugged

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#10 2013-10-27 12:00:51

Iranon
#! Junkie
Registered: 2012-03-10
Posts: 259

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

I'd rather test my luck with the handpicked mushrooms than most grilled soy products.
A good portion of my meals are vegan, but I refuse to eat substitutes... and don't like heavily processed stuff either way.

*

Another candidate: "Duck!" Assuming it's not referring to the fowl.


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#11 2013-10-27 13:34:09

PackRat
#! Die Hard
From: USA
Registered: 2011-03-03
Posts: 1,572

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

True story from our annual department BBQ -

Check it out, there's a bear cub in you apple tree. Anyone know where the mother bear is?


"It does not require many words to speak the truth." - Chief Joseph, Nez Perce tribe

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#12 2013-10-27 13:57:13

photonucleon
Quantum Geek
From: Hogwarts
Registered: 2013-06-10
Posts: 952

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Oops"


- Ai! Aníron Undómiel. -
- Some things are certain. -
- Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta. -

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#13 2013-10-27 14:35:00

saneks
#! Die Hard
Registered: 2009-10-01
Posts: 1,020

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"sorry, this grill is for vegetarian food only"


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#14 2013-10-27 14:40:57

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Iranon wrote:

I'd rather test my luck with the handpicked mushrooms than most grilled soy products.

That reminds me, did you hear about how soy & tofu can cause cancer in men? Nobody's saying mych about this because the FDA still maintains its stance that "Food cannot cure, prevent, or cause any disease." But anyways, yeah, turns out artificial soy-based products (tofu in particular) are ver high in synthetic estrogen, which, in large amounts, can cause, particularly in men, a serious hormonal imbalance that can change the overal pH of the body, making it a breeding ground for polyps & tumors.


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#15 2013-10-27 15:07:07

saneks
#! Die Hard
Registered: 2009-10-01
Posts: 1,020

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

^ funny, just read an incredibly bad article about milk and dairy and how incredible "unnatural" it is to consume it and that it is dangerous because of estrogen... well, we better stop eating alltogether. oh wait, cheese is made of milk. yum!


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#16 2013-10-27 15:12:40

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

saneks wrote:

^ funny, just read an incredibly bad article about milk and dairy and how incredible "unnatural" it is to consume it and that it is dangerous because of estrogen... well, we better stop eating alltogether. oh wait, cheese is made of milk. yum!

Actually, the estrogen content in dairy is artificial & comes as a byproduct of pasteurization, which is no longer actually necessary since the invention of the refrigerator


Also, on an unrelated topic, I just saw this funny video
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziQFFh5jznI[/video]


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#17 2013-10-27 19:55:51

anonymous
The Mystery Member
Registered: 2008-11-29
Posts: 9,419

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Who asked for their steak well-done?"

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#18 2013-10-27 20:10:18

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"I didn't know you could burn juice."

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#19 2013-10-27 20:16:55

rstrcogburn
CrunchRanger
From: NM - The Land of Enchantment
Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1,950
Website

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Ever et a possum?


Pack em in snow!

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#20 2013-10-27 20:23:56

CSCoder4ever
BL Keyboard Troll
From: /dev/zero
Registered: 2013-09-03
Posts: 2,256

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

barbecues aren't good? I'm not good at this. lol

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#21 2013-10-27 20:37:46

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

^ Well, at least you didn't quote a unicorn. 8o

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#22 2013-10-27 20:43:20

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

pvsage wrote:

"I didn't know you could burn juice."

pvsage wrote:

"at least you didn't quote a unicorn"

More good ones  smile

Last edited by #!_828 (2013-10-27 20:44:25)


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#23 2013-10-27 20:45:43

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Who ordered the Soylent Green?"

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#24 2013-10-27 20:50:45

intoCB
Scatweasel
Registered: 2012-10-25
Posts: 2,412

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"It's what Lou would have wanted. I know cannibalism's wrong but it's not like he died of a disease, is it?"

Last edited by intoCB (2013-10-27 20:53:52)

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Be excellent to each other!

#25 2013-10-27 22:44:41

snowpine
#!-a-roo
Registered: 2008-11-24
Posts: 2,984

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty."


/hugged

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