Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#!_828 · 2013-10-27 03:45:54

I was recently looking through some old magazines before I threw them out (cleaning up, getting ready for winter) when I found a rather funny list of phrases labled "Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue:"

1) "We're out of charcoal - light up a tire"

2) "That ain't lemonade"

3) "If the smoke from the grill bothers you, just crack open a window"

4) "Why is my hotdog wearing nail polish?"

5) "Does anyone here know the heimlich maneuver?"

6) "Who wants to lick the grill?"

7) "Hello, 911? It's me again . . . "

Anyone have any of their own they'd like to share?

machinebacon · 2013-10-27 03:48:58

- "Hmmm, the grilled fish smells delicious"
- "That's not fish, that's chicken..."
8)

#!_828 · 2013-10-27 03:59:30

machinebacon wrote:

- "Hmmm, the grilled fish smells delicious"
- "That's not fish, that's chicken..."
8)

I actually witnessed something like that before. It was one of those kind of potluck camping trips where everyone merges their assorted foodstuffs into one big community table, & someone brought these burgers that looked like a whitish-green hue & just smelled rancid. Turns out, they were perfectly fine! One of the guys's kids was a vegitarian, so they brought soy burgers

machinebacon · 2013-10-27 04:11:17

IMO one of the things I don't want to hear at a Barbie: "Anyone want some soy burgers?"

#!_828 · 2013-10-27 04:20:57

On top of that, all the hotdogs wer burnt to a crisp! Thank God I brought a few bags of chips & someone else had the foresight to order a pizza

machinebacon · 2013-10-27 04:31:56

Famous last words at the grill:

"No thanks, I just had a bunch of these really delicious hand-picked mushrooms."

#!_828 · 2013-10-27 04:36:40

Either that or they're about to start some serious tripping

net_waps · 2013-10-27 07:31:34

machinebacon wrote:

IMO one of the things I don't want to hear at a Barbie: "Anyone want some soy burgers?"

"Are the Tofu steaks done yet?"

snowpine · 2013-10-27 11:43:19

Last thing anyone wants to hear at a BBQ: "You hang out on #! forums too? No way!! My name's Snowpine."

Iranon · 2013-10-27 12:00:51

I'd rather test my luck with the handpicked mushrooms than most grilled soy products.
A good portion of my meals are vegan, but I refuse to eat substitutes... and don't like heavily processed stuff either way.

*

Another candidate: "Duck!" Assuming it's not referring to the fowl.

PackRat · 2013-10-27 13:34:09

True story from our annual department BBQ -

Check it out, there's a bear cub in you apple tree. Anyone know where the mother bear is?

photonucleon · 2013-10-27 13:57:13

"Oops"

saneks · 2013-10-27 14:35:00

"sorry, this grill is for vegetarian food only"

#!_828 · 2013-10-27 14:40:57

Iranon wrote:

I'd rather test my luck with the handpicked mushrooms than most grilled soy products.

That reminds me, did you hear about how soy & tofu can cause cancer in men? Nobody's saying mych about this because the FDA still maintains its stance that "Food cannot cure, prevent, or cause any disease." But anyways, yeah, turns out artificial soy-based products (tofu in particular) are ver high in synthetic estrogen, which, in large amounts, can cause, particularly in men, a serious hormonal imbalance that can change the overal pH of the body, making it a breeding ground for polyps & tumors.

saneks · 2013-10-27 15:07:07

^ funny, just read an incredibly bad article about milk and dairy and how incredible "unnatural" it is to consume it and that it is dangerous because of estrogen... well, we better stop eating alltogether. oh wait, cheese is made of milk. yum!

#!_828 · 2013-10-27 15:12:40

saneks wrote:

^ funny, just read an incredibly bad article about milk and dairy and how incredible "unnatural" it is to consume it and that it is dangerous because of estrogen... well, we better stop eating alltogether. oh wait, cheese is made of milk. yum!

Actually, the estrogen content in dairy is artificial & comes as a byproduct of pasteurization, which is no longer actually necessary since the invention of the refrigerator

Also, on an unrelated topic, I just saw this funny video
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziQFFh5jznI[/video]

anonymous · 2013-10-27 19:55:51

"Who asked for their steak well-done?"

pvsage · 2013-10-27 20:10:18

"I didn't know you could burn juice."

rstrcogburn · 2013-10-27 20:16:55

Ever et a possum?

CSCoder4ever · 2013-10-27 20:23:56

barbecues aren't good? I'm not good at this. lol

pvsage · 2013-10-27 20:37:46

^ Well, at least you didn't quote a unicorn. 8o

#!_828 · 2013-10-27 20:43:20

pvsage wrote:

"I didn't know you could burn juice."

pvsage wrote:

"at least you didn't quote a unicorn"

More good ones

Last edited by #!_828 (2013-10-27 20:44:25)

pvsage · 2013-10-27 20:45:43

"Who ordered the Soylent Green?"

intoCB · 2013-10-27 20:50:45

"It's what Lou would have wanted. I know cannibalism's wrong but it's not like he died of a disease, is it?"

Last edited by intoCB (2013-10-27 20:53:52)

snowpine · 2013-10-27 22:44:41

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty."

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#1 2013-10-27 03:45:54

Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#2 2013-10-27 03:48:58

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#3 2013-10-27 03:59:30

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#4 2013-10-27 04:11:17

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#5 2013-10-27 04:20:57

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#6 2013-10-27 04:31:56

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#7 2013-10-27 04:36:40

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#8 2013-10-27 07:31:34

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#9 2013-10-27 11:43:19

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#10 2013-10-27 12:00:51

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#11 2013-10-27 13:34:09

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#12 2013-10-27 13:57:13

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#13 2013-10-27 14:35:00

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#14 2013-10-27 14:40:57

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#15 2013-10-27 15:07:07

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#16 2013-10-27 15:12:40

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#17 2013-10-27 19:55:51

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#18 2013-10-27 20:10:18

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#19 2013-10-27 20:16:55

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#20 2013-10-27 20:23:56

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#21 2013-10-27 20:37:46

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#22 2013-10-27 20:43:20

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#23 2013-10-27 20:45:43

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#24 2013-10-27 20:50:45

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#25 2013-10-27 22:44:41

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

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