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#26 2013-09-07 08:49:05

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

^ Oh, I get it! ]:D  The bartender was Derpy - her cutie mark represents the carbonation in beer! lol  (Does that count as a "pony attack", Sector11? 8o )

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#27 2013-09-07 12:39:52

ratcheer
#! Junkie
From: central Alabama
Registered: 2013-07-23
Posts: 338

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

A mathemeticians convention is just letting out. Two mathemeticians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one asks for half a beer. They say, "Many of our friends will be coming in." A steady stream of mathemeticians come in and are lining up. The third one asks for a fourth of a beer. As the next mathemetician starts to give his order, the barman says, "Wait." He goes to the tap, pulls two beers, and places them on the counter, saying, "You guys need to learn your limits."

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#28 2013-09-07 14:19:05

saneks
#! Die Hard
Registered: 2009-10-01
Posts: 1,020

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

chillicampari wrote:

Five Linux users enter a bar. After seating themselves, the bartender asks "Hey you two, what'll it be?"

I don't understand this one..


eee701 user & other lap/desktops

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#29 2013-09-07 15:16:42

Naik
#! Die Hard
From: Leipzig
Registered: 2012-11-16
Posts: 595

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

^me neither!

but the rest is great!


*kaum macht man es richtig, funktioniert es sofort*

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#30 2013-09-07 15:17:33

snowpine
#!-a-roo
Registered: 2008-11-24
Posts: 2,984

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

My cat walked into a bar. My cat's name is MIttens.


/hugged

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#31 2013-09-07 23:26:01

chillicampari
Pinball Wizard
Registered: 2009-10-09
Posts: 2,728

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

saneks wrote:
chillicampari wrote:

Five Linux users enter a bar. After seating themselves, the bartender asks "Hey you two, what'll it be?"

I don't understand this one..

(You can pretty much make up your own reason why three never made it over to the barstools like):

Two are still inside the entryway discussing the color of the walls and one is on their way home to start their own microbrewery.

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#32 2013-09-14 08:53:48

wuxmedia
wookiee madclaw
From: Back in Blighty
Registered: 2012-03-09
Posts: 1,478
Website

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"
She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody any time, any where, any place, it doesn't matter to me."
The guy raises his eyebrows and says, "No kidding? What law firm do you work for?"

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#33 2013-09-14 08:58:18

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

^ LULz!

A unicorn, a pegasus, and an Earth pony walk into a bar...which is kinda ridiculous, because the other two should have seen the first hit it.

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#34 2013-09-14 19:03:46

photonucleon
Quantum Geek
From: Hogwarts
Registered: 2013-06-10
Posts: 952

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

A pedant walks into a bar, where there are two counters, one on the left and one on the right. The two counters are identical, and a sign on the wall explained that if for whatever reason one counter could not be used, then there would be a backup counter. The pedant goes up to the counter on the left, which, unbeknown to him, is currently out of order. The bartender appears at the counter on the right, and says "You'll need to come over to the other counter." The pedant replies:

"I'm already at the other counter."


- Ai! Aníron Undómiel. -
- Some things are certain. -
- Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta. -

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#35 2013-10-20 22:07:16

Sector11
#!'er to BL'er
From: SR11 Cockpit
Registered: 2010-05-05
Posts: 15,667
Website

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

pvsage wrote:

^ Oh, I get it! ]:D  The bartender was Derpy - her cutie mark represents the carbonation in beer! lol  (Does that count as a "pony attack", Sector11? 8o )

How did I miss this sad  and now I am ?????


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#36 2013-10-20 23:54:24

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

@Sector11:  Derpy Hooves, a background pony fan-named for her cross-eyed appearance in the series premiere.
180px-Derpy_derping.png

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#37 2013-10-21 00:14:21

Sector11
#!'er to BL'er
From: SR11 Cockpit
Registered: 2010-05-05
Posts: 15,667
Website

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

pvsage wrote:

@Sector11:  Derpy Hooves, a background pony fan-named for her cross-eyed appearance in the series premiere.
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110130193104/mlp/images/thumb/6/69/Derpy_derping.png/180px-Derpy_derping.png

Pony attack - man the saddles!   lol  lol  lol


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#38 2013-10-21 00:50:21

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

Well, you were asking for one (literally begging, as I recall). roll  Basically, my thought process was "that bartender sounded like such a ditz...like a bubble-headed...ZOMG, the bartender is a human version of Derpy!"  I can't recall seeing her flank marking linked to beer anywhere in the fanon, but it seems as plausible as anything else I've read.

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#39 2013-10-21 02:09:07

intoCB
Scatweasel
Registered: 2012-10-25
Posts: 2,412

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

Pony attack on Sector 11? Sounds like a name for a film.

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#40 2013-10-21 02:15:30

chillicampari
Pinball Wizard
Registered: 2009-10-09
Posts: 2,728

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

^Awesomeness (I need to rewatch that at some point).

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#41 2013-10-21 04:57:30

Sector11
#!'er to BL'er
From: SR11 Cockpit
Registered: 2010-05-05
Posts: 15,667
Website

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

intoCB wrote:

Pony attack on Sector 11? Sounds like a name for a film.

Excellent film ... loved it!  I have to re-watch it as well.

EDIT:
Assault on Precinct 13 by Sector11 on his trusty steed Pony007 ...  lol  lol  lol  lol

Last edited by Sector11 (2013-10-21 05:00:14)


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#42 2013-10-21 05:01:40

Sector11
#!'er to BL'er
From: SR11 Cockpit
Registered: 2010-05-05
Posts: 15,667
Website

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

pvsage wrote:

Well, you were asking for one (literally begging, as I recall). roll  Basically, my thought process was "that bartender sounded like such a ditz...like a bubble-headed...ZOMG, the bartender is a human version of Derpy!"  I can't recall seeing her flank marking linked to beer anywhere in the fanon, but it seems as plausible as anything else I've read.


Who me?  deny deny deny ...  ]:D


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#43 2014-01-04 17:33:50

Sector11
#!'er to BL'er
From: SR11 Cockpit
Registered: 2010-05-05
Posts: 15,667
Website

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

After all that ... and the time lapse, I realized I didn't post a joke ....   sad

After a rather wet night the bartender asks Bruce, who's lying on the floor "Would you like a chair there?"

"No, I'm okay standing, thanks."


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#44 2014-01-04 19:01:00

intoCB
Scatweasel
Registered: 2012-10-25
Posts: 2,412

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

An Apache walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry but I can't serve you. I'll have to get the Apache server. He's down in the cellar right now but he'll be back up in again in a moment."

A tomcat walks into a bar. "F*** off!" says the barman. "You can't drink here. I'll be damned if I'm going to get a reputation for appearing in crappy I.T. jokes this close to retirement". "I didn't come here for a drink," says the tomcat. "I was just looking for a place to crash."

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#45 2014-01-04 19:40:22

hhh
Cityspeak
Registered: 2010-08-04
Posts: 3,253

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks, “Dry?” He replies, “Nein, just one.”


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#46 2014-01-05 09:02:41

photonucleon
Quantum Geek
From: Hogwarts
Registered: 2013-06-10
Posts: 952

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

A man walks into a bar, and declares in a loud voice "I am a llama." Everyone turns to look at him, and he repeats his declaration, adding "I even have four legs."
"I don't believe you," the bartender says. "That's just alpaca lies!"


- Ai! Aníron Undómiel. -
- Some things are certain. -
- Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta. -

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#47 2014-01-09 04:58:03

mike green
Member
From: United Kingdom
Registered: 2013-11-12
Posts: 48

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

A blind man walks into a bar and after ordering a drink yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke ?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb.blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a wrestler. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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#48 2014-01-09 05:29:01

mrpeachy
20% cooler
From: The Everfree Forest
Registered: 2009-11-08
Posts: 3,460

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinis,
the bartender says "did you mean martini?"
The Roman replies "if I'd wanted more than one, I would have asked."

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#49 2014-01-09 09:47:50

photonucleon
Quantum Geek
From: Hogwarts
Registered: 2013-06-10
Posts: 952

Re: "A ________ walks into a bar" jokes

mrpeachy wrote:

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinis,
the bartender says "did you mean martini?"
The Roman replies "if I'd wanted more than one, I would have asked."

Sorry for being a little bit of a stickler for detail, but the Roman should order a martinus. tongue


- Ai! Aníron Undómiel. -
- Some things are certain. -
- Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta. -

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