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#26 2013-10-27 22:53:18

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

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#27 2013-10-27 22:55:58

Linuxephus™
Banned
From: Reality Check 101.
Registered: 2013-09-11
Posts: 158

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Things you don't want to hear at a barbeque: "Excuse me, my wife asked me where my lips were going to be after she slapped them off of my face. However, in the same instance that question was asked, my face also happened to be slapped within the same trajectory somewhere in the vicinity of the grill itself.
Can everyone please refrain from eating any kind of face-meat?"


-Evolution Is Merely God's Way Of Performing An Upgrade.-
-Linux: Guerrilla UNIX Development...Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.-
-Linux: The Operating System With A C.L.U.E...Command Line User Environment.-

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#28 2013-10-27 23:00:32

photonucleon
Quantum Geek
From: Hogwarts
Registered: 2013-06-10
Posts: 952

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Hey, where did your frog-pond go?"


- Ai! Aníron Undómiel. -
- Some things are certain. -
- Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta. -

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#29 2013-10-27 23:11:28

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

^ I've actually eaten frog; kinda tastes like lizard. 8o

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#30 2013-10-28 00:32:00

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

pvsage wrote:

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Good thing my dog would probably eat anyone who tries to grill her (she's an almost 2 year old Shepperd-Husky mix, 85lbs (she'll be around 100 when full-grown) with one blue eye & one brown eye (I'll upload a picture later))  smile

Last edited by #!_828 (2013-10-28 00:32:12)


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#31 2013-10-28 02:11:54

anonymous
The Mystery Member
Registered: 2008-11-29
Posts: 9,419

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

pvsage wrote:

^ I've actually eaten frog; kinda tastes like lizard. 8o

And whats does lizard taste like? lol

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#32 2013-10-28 02:14:58

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Tastes like chicken."  Actually, it doesn't.  Kinda like venison, but not quite.

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#33 2013-10-28 02:52:40

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Meanwhile, wouldn't it be ironic if, even though everything tastes like chicken, chicken itself tasted like beef?
Reminds me of a quote from The Matrix where the one kid was talking about "How do the machines know what Tastey Wheat tasted like? What if they got it all wrong & whay you & I think Tastey Wheat tastes like is completely different . . . Or what about chicken? Maybe, they couldn't figure out what a lot of stuff was supposed to taste like, so they just made everything taste like chicken. Which brings up another question. Why chicken? . . . "   cool

Last edited by #!_828 (2013-10-28 02:53:18)


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#34 2013-10-28 03:00:11

Linuxephus™
Banned
From: Reality Check 101.
Registered: 2013-09-11
Posts: 158

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#!_828 wrote:

Meanwhile, wouldn't it be ironic if, even though everything tastes like chicken, chicken itself tasted like beef?
Reminds me of a quote from The Matrix where the one kid was talking about "How do the machines know what Tastey Wheat tasted like? What if they got it all wrong & whay you & I think Tastey Wheat tastes like is completely different . . . Or what about chicken? Maybe, they couldn't figure out what a lot of stuff was supposed to taste like, so they just made everything taste like chicken. Which brings up another question. Why chicken? . . . "   cool

I think after this conversation, I shall endeavor to avoid any barbecuing not of my own making first and foremost.


-Evolution Is Merely God's Way Of Performing An Upgrade.-
-Linux: Guerrilla UNIX Development...Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.-
-Linux: The Operating System With A C.L.U.E...Command Line User Environment.-

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#35 2013-10-28 10:53:39

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Linuxephus™ wrote:

I think after this conversation, I shall endeavor to avoid any barbecuing not of my own making first and foremost.

This thread was not intended to deter from barbecuing, it's merely to raise awareness of potential barbecue hazards & provide some audio cues so you can identify said hazards & run for your life, if need be smile


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#36 2013-10-28 12:52:21

photonucleon
Quantum Geek
From: Hogwarts
Registered: 2013-06-10
Posts: 952

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#!_828 wrote:
Linuxephus™ wrote:

I think after this conversation, I shall endeavor to avoid any barbecuing not of my own making first and foremost.

This thread was not intended to deter from barbecuing, it's merely to raise awareness of potential barbecue hazards & provide some audio cues so you can identify said hazards & run for your life, if need be smile

Oh, yeah, definitely don't want to hear "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" at a BBQ. Such an exclamation is usually followed swiftly by catastrophe.


- Ai! Aníron Undómiel. -
- Some things are certain. -
- Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta. -

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#37 2013-10-28 12:59:18

gutterslob
#! Resident Bum
Registered: 2009-11-03
Posts: 3,207

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Sausage jokes.


Point & Squirt

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#38 2013-10-28 14:41:21

servingwater
#! Junkie
Registered: 2009-02-28
Posts: 466

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#!_828 wrote:

I was recently looking through some old magazines before I threw them out (cleaning up, getting ready for winter) when I found a rather funny list of phrases labled "Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue:"

1) "We're out of charcoal - light up a tire"

2) "That ain't lemonade"

3) "If the smoke from the grill bothers you, just crack open a window"

4)  "Why is my hotdog wearing nail polish?"

5) "Does anyone here know the heimlich maneuver?"

6) "Who wants to lick the grill?"

7) "Hello, 911? It's me again . . . "

Anyone have any of their own they'd like to share?  smile

Genius!  big_smile

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#39 2013-10-28 20:05:46

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

photonucleon wrote:

Oh, yeah, definitely don't want to hear "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" at a BBQ. Such an exclamation is usually followed swiftly by catastrophe.

Yep, that's the general rule of thumb


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#40 2013-10-28 20:16:53

bigbenaugust
#! Junkie
From: the 919
Registered: 2009-03-04
Posts: 341

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Well, I didn't blow myself up."


--Ben
Debian: II   Arch: II   openSUSE: I

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#41 2013-10-28 20:31:26

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"How many bottles of charcoal fluid was that?"

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#42 2013-10-29 01:34:34

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

pvsage wrote:

"How many bottles of charcoal fluid was that?"

Cue Hank Hill saying "You wouldn't need to keep count of how many bottles of charcoal fluid you've used if you had the brains to realize the superior grilling power & efficiency of propane!" smile

Last edited by #!_828 (2013-10-29 01:35:12)


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#43 2013-10-29 05:34:25

pvsage
Internal Affairs
From: North Carolina
Registered: 2009-10-18
Posts: 13,970

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

Cue Peggy and Luanne sneaking off to a charcoal barbecue for the flavor. ]:D

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#44 2013-10-29 10:46:15

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

pvsage wrote:

Cue Peggy and Luanne sneaking off to a charcoal barbecue for the flavor. ]:D

Then, cue Hank returning from his trip with the guys for Bill's birthday, discovering what they'd done, & all Hell braking loose  big_smile


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#45 2013-10-29 12:13:03

k0s
Member
From: AlexVa
Registered: 2013-08-31
Posts: 40

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#1
"10 SECOND RULE! 10 SECOND RULE!!!"

#2
"...so, dude, I got this really cool idea for a iphone app..."

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#46 2013-10-29 16:52:17

anonymous
The Mystery Member
Registered: 2008-11-29
Posts: 9,419

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

k0s wrote:

#2
"...so, dude, I got this really cool idea for a iphone app..."

Depending on person saying this, it could be either good or bad. I'd be interesting in hearing it, either for curiosity or for a quick laugh.

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#47 2013-10-29 17:27:42

bigbenaugust
#! Junkie
From: the 919
Registered: 2009-03-04
Posts: 341

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

"Who needs arm hair, anyway?"


--Ben
Debian: II   Arch: II   openSUSE: I

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#48 2013-10-29 19:18:12

#!_828
#! Tinfoil Hat
From: Ohio, U. S. of A.
Registered: 2013-09-19
Posts: 1,244

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

anonymous wrote:
k0s wrote:

#2
"...so, dude, I got this really cool idea for a iphone app..."

Depending on person saying this, it could be either good or bad. I'd be interesting in hearing it, either for curiosity or for a quick laugh.

Yep
However, if it's anything about the Ubuntu phone, listen closely for the following keywords "Social location, customer service enhancement, location monitoring, partnered with Amazon, enhanced data recovery features . . . "
If any of those are present, you must:
A: RUN!
B: Definitely do NOT get their app
C: If it's to be installed onto all phones as part of a standard "upgrade" then switch to another smartphone
(be on the lookout for a release date for Firefox OS)  smile


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#49 2013-10-30 02:15:20

Linuxephus™
Banned
From: Reality Check 101.
Registered: 2013-09-11
Posts: 158

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

#!_828 wrote:
Linuxephus™ wrote:

I think after this conversation, I shall endeavor to avoid any barbecuing not of my own making first and foremost.

This thread was not intended to deter from barbecuing, it's merely to raise awareness of potential barbecue hazards & provide some audio cues so you can identify said hazards & run for your life, if need be smile

Eh...no worries mate.
I'm well aware of the intent of thread and subject material therein.
Merely overlook the irony of my illogical humor. wink


-Evolution Is Merely God's Way Of Performing An Upgrade.-
-Linux: Guerrilla UNIX Development...Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.-
-Linux: The Operating System With A C.L.U.E...Command Line User Environment.-

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#50 2013-10-30 19:55:35

SJPierce
Banned
From: da Hood
Registered: 2013-10-25
Posts: 8

Re: Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Barbecue

(moderator note: post removed -cc)


OG 4 Life!  ]:D

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