Contractions, Waffle, Mrs Briggs & Data
For the last month or so I've I have been attempting to eliminate contractions from my blog posts. Initially I found the process quite difficult and I'd I would often find myself struggling with basic English. One word which troubled me was, "cannot", which for a while at least, existed in my head as two separate words; I can't can not cannot imagine why? Anyhow, I think I'm I am finally beginning to get the hang of it.
I'm I am not entirely sure why I decided to stop using contractions; maybe it's it has got something to do with my need to experiment? Or, maybe I'd I had previously read somewhere that contractions cause issues with non-human translation services. Either way, I'm I am quite enjoying the experience, although I fear that it doesn't does not aid the flow of my written gibberish.
While I'm I am on the subject of my poorly scribed waffle, it's it has got to be said that writing doesn't does not come naturally to me. The reason my writing isn't is not often easy to read isn't is not entirely due to my recent sans-contraction experiment, no, I believe it's it has more to do with Mrs Briggs, who was both my secondary school English teacher and the biggest distraction throughout my secondary education. Actually, that's that is not completely true, the distractions were her long legs, short skirts and fancy knickers [don't do not ask]; which in my humble opinion, isn't is not suitable attire for a secondary school English teacher. Maybe I should've should have said something at the time? Thinking about it now, I'm I am glad I didn't did not say anything because I'm I am sure she'd've she would have flipped out; besides, no normal hormonal teenage boy is going to complain about such things.
Anyway, back to the subject of contractions; if you're you are wondering how all this relates to Data, well, it's it is a known fact that Data's Data has got issues with verbal contractions in ordinary speech, which is amusing when you consider he's he has got a total linear computational speed rated at sixty trillion operations per second, yet he can't can not cannot say, "can't". Silly android.
P.S. I thought it'd it would be fun to write like this, but to be honest, 'tisn't it is not. 'tisn't It is not going to happen again ;-)
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